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Oh, The Weather Inside is Frightful (PART I)

At the end of last winter I wrote this reflection :  We may be finally seeing warm bright summer-like days, but not too long ago winter was in full swing and it was cold and grey for what seemed like forever. Snow blanketed the sleeping hemisphere.  Ice had replaced the joyful trickling of streams and brookes. The cities were especially slushy, dirty and bleak.   But the weather wasn't necessarily only frightful outside during that time of year.  The winter can definitely also mean a nagging frigid mood on the inside. I had been thinking of these so called "winter blues" alot through February and March, as I found myself overcome with a particular kind of weariness most of the time in those months.  Well, February, which I've heard called "the most depressing month of the year" finally ended. Though the shortest month of the year, it seemed to drag on. We passed mental health awareness week and the Bell Let's Talk campaign, as well as anxiously awaited t…

Thankful Thursday

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Did you look up today, at the crystal clear azure sky? Did you see the squirrels playing tag up and down the oaks? Did you feel the warm sun moderated by the autumn breeze? Did you feel truly happy?

I have dubbed this day of the week "Thankful Thursday." It is fitting because somehow I always seem to have a tough time on Thursdays. So combatting the temptation to grumpiness with gratitude is fitting. Also, being near the end of week, it is a good time for me to reflect on all that went right over the last several days. Friday brings it's own joy of weekend anticipation, but Thursday needs a little something. A little dash of gratitude.

A little goes a long way. Just like opening a door a crack can let in a mighty ray of light, all we need to do is open up a little bit to the good. The result is nothing short of miraculous. Noticing one little good thing, can lead to noticing another amazing thing, and another awe inspiring thing, and then some absolutely mind-blowing, mi…

Creativity's Workshop

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Musings Life is so full of contradictions, dichotomies, ups and downs, isn't it? One day we are convinced of something, another day we are full of doubt. One day we are bouncing off the walls with excitement, another we are dragging our feet to the rhythm of our tear-drops.

I realize that although my life has often been a roller coaster of  such highs and lows,  reality is wonderfully unchanging. My feelings may be all over the place, but that doesn't mean the earth under my feet is crumbling under the weight of my frustration, or flooding when I cry. The battle inside my head does not automatically rage outside of it. But even so, my moods affect the world around me, because they affect my decisions, how I treat others, where I go and how well I do my job. Feelings are not facts but they can become a self-fulfilling prophesy. How often have I told myself "I can't", "it's impossible", or "it's too late." These are often self imposed l…

Though I Walk Through the Valley of the Shadow of Death...

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God isn't just beautiful; he is Beauty.  God isn't just good; He is Goodness. God isn't just true; He is Truth. And he put these qualities into His creation. To experience beauty, goodness and truth in the world is to taste a glimmer of who God is.

I've probably written all of the above on this blog before, but it hit me in a profound way recently. I think God uses these to speak to us, each quality highlighted at different times for different people. But they all point to God. Whether it is a lawyer fighting for the truth, a mother sacrificing sleep for the good of her sick child or the artist capturing beauty of the ocean on his canvas. All very different, yet all a piece of the same reality. This blows my mind and touches my heart.

Truth, Beauty and Goodness all serve to point me back at my creator, chiefly beauty has been the source of the most raw and poignant moments for me. This has especially been so for me recently.

Today I saw one of the most enchantingly unreal…

Eternal Sunshine

Yesterday I finally made it to confession. My goal for lent was to go every 2 weeks or so. But that stretched out to 3 weeks, and then after almost a month I faced the facts that I'm sinking in some of my habitual sins and God's grace is the life preserver I need to get out of that mucky pool.

In the confessional, after I finished listing all of my failings, the priest said something that really struck me. He told me: "Life is so short but after death will be an eternity, which is beyond what we can imagine! The struggles we face now pale in comparison. Keep your mind fixed on eternity, offer up any struggles that may come up and just keep persevering." I think those are some of the most encouraging words I have heard in a long time! When I think how this life is a mere droplet compared to the vast ocean of eternity, I suddenly feel the strength and motivation to continue in the midst of any hardship or temptation that might strike.

A song I was listening to recently a…

March Forth!

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The gloom of winter goes on, with a few days of sunshine foreshadowing spring here and there. Sometimes the stress of work, the prevailing cold weather, the ho-hum of the mundane routine, and the heart-ache of being in a long distance relationship, makes me quite tempted to give up at life. Sometimes it seems like too much for my little self to carry.

But then, I step back. Wait a second. In the words of admiral Akbar, " It's a trap!" I've walked into a trap again; one that seemed so true, but really it was a wolf in sheep's clothing, a lie disguised as warm fuzzies. Giving-up and self-pity and complaining appeared to be the easy way out, or at least the only way to cope. But behind the appearances is a rotten sham, seeming to comfort in the short term, but corrupting and sapping all goodness in the long run!

So what is the alternative? When I step back and look at the big picture, I imagine a camera zooming away from me, up to the sky and further and further up …

The Sound of Silence

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I found an adoration chapel with perpetual adoration at Yonge and Steeles. I'm so excited because I have been craving spending more time alone, in peaceful reflection, in refreshing prayer, with Jesus...and now I can go right after work any day of the week!

When I went for the first time to this little chapel last week, I found it hard to concentrate at first, but I tried to really surrender this and started by meditating on a decade of the Rosary. I chose the wedding at Cana, where Mary says "Do whatever He tells you." I knew I really just had to pray about God's will and allowing whatever that is for me. (My boyfriend and I had just been talking about God's will the night before...it was mostly me ranting about how I don't get it. How are you supposed to know what God is telling you?)

After the decade I read over the daily readings and really got a sense of the importance of hoping, for waiting on God and keeping joyful. I realized that is how God is our st…